I recently worked with a super nice guy who had sustained a mild TBI from a work-related injury. He was (admittedly) a stereotypical “construction guy,” meaning not someone to care about his feelings, let alone talk about them, on a regular basis.
But all of that changed shortly after being exposed to the importance of becoming more self-aware. It didn’t happen right away. In fact, he was initially skeptical and thought it was nonsense. Nevertheless, he kept showing up everyday, asking questions, and experimenting with the teachings in his own life.
It wasn’t too long before he started naturally becoming a role model for everyone he encountered, including stressed out healthcare professionals who were projecting onto him (a shame he had to do that), and more importantly his wife. The impact was so meaningful that she became inspired to attend the program after he was discharged.
I met her briefly yesterday when she came in for a visit. When I asked how he was doing, she half-jokingly replied, “He’s great. He’s too great as a matter of fact. He won’t let me be angry or complain around him any longer.”
It is important to note that this didn’t happen because he demanded that she change. If he was focused on her behavior (as most spouses do), and tried to get her to be different, it probably would have erupted into a fight.
Instead, he remained internally focused, and that’s what enabled him to communicate in a way that inspired the very best in her. Without saying it directly, he communicated, “I love you. I care about you, but I am no longer willing to live under stress on a regular basis. I want you to evolve with me, but if you are not willing to do so, I may not want to stay in this relationship.”
This may sound harsh, but I assure you, it is not. I once heard the quote, “What you permit, you promote.” I think many of us permit a lot of unnecessary stress within ourselves, so naturally that carries over to the people in our lives. Imagine how many divorces could be prevented if all spouses were committed to role modeling in this way.
I think this is particularly prevalent in healthcare, which is one of the reasons I would greatly appreciate if you’d complete this very quick survey. I am really curious to see the responses.
The increased level of stress in healthcare (and lack of role modeling) is also part of my inspiration for my first book that is coming out very soon, and for launching my new website Dan Eisner Consulting.
Please drop by for a visit and stay tuned for the official book release and upcoming trainings.